God of the Whirlwind (a prayer-poem from a safe distance)

Great, generative, expansive God,
we live in this universe beyond comprehension
on a planet we sometimes think we own,
and we narrow our vision to human-sized concerns:
paychecks and home repair, love and betrayal,
the silence of infertility or the chaotic clutter of children's clamor.
We forget how wide and unbending the continent,
how vast and all-conceiving the sea.
Yet our sacred stories bear witness that you are not uncaring,
that the sparrow no less than the sperm whale
is worthy of your fierce tenderness.
We are like the blades of grass
that flourish for a season and then vanish,
like the crimson sulfur amber leaves
that drift from outstretched limbs
to re-enter the cycle of death and transformation.
These winds, wild whirling clouds and whipping rain
that lash and batter land, sea, islands, trees,
beaches and buildings,
landmarks and lilies --
they do not speak of grace or blessing,
love or life abundant,
as far as we can see,
and so we pray to be kept out of their way,
safe from harm in your embrace.
Yet when there will be suffering,
for lilies and grass and sparrows and whales,
who are we to exempt ourselves from it?
Just one more species crying out for preservation,
when all along we have not protected others
(not our sisters who are beaten or our brothers who are bullied,
not our children who are addicted or our mothers who are neglected,
not our fathers who are trained to kill and be killed,
or our grandparents who are left alone without memory,
not even our rivers or trees or sea or sky,
who provide for our needs world without end amen).
We seek your mercy, since we see you as all-powerful,
but perhaps what we need even more is to hear
in the silence after the storm
your still, small voice
inviting us to pray
with our hands, feet, eyes, mouths,
hearts, bodies, and souls,
that the world will be made whole
that the world will be made holy
that the hole will be made well
and the well would hold out hope
for the hopeless and the powerless and the small and the still
that we all would be made one
in sorrow, in joy, in struggle, in healing,
that the whirlwind would bring no death
without new life
and that each life would be seen as precious
in the whole whirling cycle of resurrection.
May our hearts be broken open
by the breaking of others,
and our lives be made whole
by humbling ourselves to hold the broken.
In the name of the teacher healer prophet mystic
rebel servant leader king,
may it be so and ever so
in the world of the whirlwind
and the swirl of the Spirit.
Amen.

Spirit Day: Compassion and Courage

As one who seeks to follow Jesus, I believe that "Love your neighbor as yourself" means showing respect, kindness, and compassion to all people. At the same time, I remember being 11 or 12 and caught up in a playground culture of figuring out where I was in the social pecking order. I know there were times I was unkind to others in an effort to seem "cool," and I deeply regret those actions.

I pray that people of all ages will reflect today on what it means to show strength through kindness and understanding, especially towards those who are or seem different from what society says is valuable. Speaking out on behalf of those who are being bullied, teased, attacked, or marginalized takes courage, but you will never regret acting with integrity.

Deacons and Order: A Personal Journey

Posted at Deacons Hold the Bowl on September 22, 2012.

Within the sometimes ambiguous and occasionally mysterious world of the Ordained Deacon in Full Connection, I find myself straddling two camps in more ways than one.

In the United Methodist Church, Deacons are, generally speaking, called to serve as a bridge between the church and the needs of the world. Deacons can be appointed to ministries within or beyond the local church; most Deacons can quickly tell you in which of those areas their primary appointment falls.  For the past five years, I have been appointed to both.

I serve as an associate pastor in a small, progressive, urban congregation in northwest Denver, and I also work part-time for a non-profit organization that advocates for improved access to and quality of health care for children with special needs.

Don’t you want your own church?
While I was going through the ordination process, a total of about six years, I was asked repeatedly – by the District Committee on Ministry, by the interview team on the Board of Ordained Ministry, by clergy colleagues and seminary classmates – if I was sure that I was called to be a Deacon. “Don’t you think someday you’ll want your own church?” one friend asked me on more than one occasion.

My answer, admittedly a bit of a hedge, was usually along the lines of, “I’m open to the possibility that God will call me to lead a church at some point, but that doesn’t feel like the right fit for me right now.  I just don’t feel called to order the life of the local congregation.”

I appreciate that many of these people asked the question out of a desire to affirm my gifts for leadership. And each time I was asked, I would again direct some time and energy into prayerful discernment, to figure out whether the question itself was God at work through those close to me. Pursuing the kind of ministry that everyone understands has its appeal, and there are advantages to being an Elder (even with the possible removal of security of appointment) that the ministry of a Deacon does not offer.

But over the years, I have come to believe that this question of Order is really the sticking-point in my sense of call. Yes, I can (and do) preach, and teach. I love the sacraments wholeheartedly and would treasure the opportunity to offer baptism and Communion directly to whomever asked, whether an Elder was present or not. I attend Finance Committee and SPRC meetings, and Trustees when time allows (I am part-time, after all); for five years, I have been privileged to have a very collegial relationship with the senior pastor and have been included in almost every major decision-making process and vision-setting discussion. I participate in the administration of the local church in varied and significant ways.

But I do not desire to be the person in charge.

Leadership vs. Order
This intuitive conviction was affirmed this summer, when the alignment of the planets – or God’s wicked sense of humor, if you prefer – meant that a pastoral transition at my church and an executive transition at the non-profit where I work took place at exactly the same time. And I was asked to fill the gap in the interim period in both places.  So for one month, I was both the Acting Lead Pastor (the title I came up with) and Interim Executive Director, both part-time.  Never mind that both of these are full-time roles, or that I hadn’t sought out either one. There was a need, and I was asked to serve as a bridge, connecting the past with the future.

I think I did fairly well. I received positive feedback from the congregation, and from my coworkers, about my efforts during that time. And I could not be more relieved that I am not in either of those roles any more.  There are people who relish being in charge, who have gifts and graces that equip them to discern a vision, make decisions, and guide the whole congregation toward a goal. I appreciate having opportunities to lead, and to have a voice in planning and decision-making, but I prefer to work with or for others most of the time.

The thing is, I don’t believe I need to be in charge of a congregation to be a leader. My sense of call is more about helping others connect their story with God’s story than it is about guiding the people of God toward a goal. My leadership comes through writing, teaching, and preaching, developing personal relationships, planning and leading worship, coordinating the work of committees and teams in the church, and directing the choir. I am striving to live out the Deacon’s call to ministry as a set-aside servant leader, one who embodies the service to which all Christians are called, and invites the followers of Jesus into their own ministries of compassion and justice.

Christ has no body now but yours
Sometimes God calls us to work for which we don’t feel qualified, but we find in stepping up that we are capable of more than we realized. Sometimes doors close and windows open in unexpected ways. But I was moved and persuaded by Parker Palmer when I read Let Your Life Speak in seminary, that how God calls us is generally in harmony with how God has created us.

And – at least right now – I don’t believe I am created for, or called to, ordering the life of the church.

But I believe the church needs Deacons – and Elders, committed laypeople, local pastors, certified lay ministers, and all the other names we give to the ways in which people intentionally choose to serve God – to support and strengthening the functioning of the Body of Christ in important ways.  The head is of course important, with eyes for vision and mouth for communication, but so are the hands and feet and heart of the Body, reaching out to touch those in need, being stirred by compassion and courage to guide the work of the whole. Together, we serve God in the world through many ministries, with many gifts, but guided by one Spirit. May it be so for you and for me.

Rev. Kerry Greenhill is Associate Pastor at Highlands UMC in Denver and Communications Manager at Family Voices Colorado. You can follow her on Twitter.

Fires in Colorado

Here in the Denver area, we have had smoky haze in the air for a couple weeks, and temperatures near or above 100F for almost a week now, but I'm trying to remain thankful since we are not in any danger from wildfire. Colorado is not the only state with fires burning, but there are several burning here at the moment, and a couple that are doing terrible damage to residential areas.

As far as I have read, there has only been one life lost to fires so far (the High Park Fire, west of Fort Collins, in that fire's first week), which is pretty incredible given the geographic spread of the destruction. However, a couple hundred homes have burned, as well as other properties, including the United Methodist Buckhorn Camp near Bellvue, and the Flying W Ranch down near Colorado Springs. Thousands have been evacuated from their homes, some for more than 2 weeks now. I wanted to share a brief prayer for the situation, and also some links to different ways people can help.

Holding in prayer:
-those who have lost homes and belongings to the fires
-those who have been evacuated and are waiting anxiously to learn whether they have a home to go back to
-those who are fighting the fires, risking their lives to protect the lives and livelihoods of others
-those who are serving and ministering to evacuees, victims, and firefighters.

God of grace and mercy, you promise to comfort those who mourn. May we know that you are with us, not in the raging flames, but in the tears and hugs of community drawing together, in the generosity and courage of those who make sacrifices for the benefit of others, in each life saved and each moment cherished as precious and holy. I confess I am skeptical about your control of the weather, since our earth's ecosystem is so complex, and this weather that is so harmful to our communities at this moment may be needed in some other part of the world; but God of healing, here in the western US we need rain, cooler temperatures, and an end to the winds that are driving these fires. We humans are barely more than ants or blades of grass in the long view of our planet, and yet you have promised that we are beloved and precious in your sight. Have mercy on your children, O God, and answer our prayers. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

How to Help:
United Methodist Links:

• Rocky Mountain Conference United Methodist News story, links & updates 
• Donate directly to RMCUMC Disaster Relief Fund at this link (under Conference Designated Giving, select Disaster Response Fund from the drop-down menu)
• Donate to United Methodist Committee on Relief, which will get involved in recovery efforts after the first response is concluded

General Statewide Links:

• The Red Cross and Salvation Army are doing good, important work, as are many other agencies
• Help Colorado Now
• Emergency preparedness and assistance, via The Denver Post 
• Agencies taking and distributing donations, via TheDenverChannel.com

Prayer for General Conference

So much for weekly blogging... I will post life/work/ministry updates sometime in the coming weeks, but for now I just wanted to share a prayer I am working on music for, as delegates from around the world meet in Tampa, Florida, to decide matters of great importance regarding the structure, policies, practices, and official teachings of The United Methodist Church. Others are doing excellent work reporting and reflecting on the specifics of those decisions; I am following along as time allows, and holding all involved in prayer.

Prayer for #GC2012

May our conversations be holy
May every vote be bathed in prayer
May we listen well to those who are on the margins
May we always speak with care

May we hear the voices of all God's children
May we always offer grace
May we see the image of Christ in one another
When we stand face to face

May the Holy Spirit lead us forward
through this valley of tears
May God's will be done on earth as in heaven
until we find healing and peace.